Flint: See, the Filters Do Not Quite Work For That Much Lead

Watch out where the Huskies go

And Don’t you eat that yellow snow-

Frank Zappa

Look up! Fresh water falls from the sky. All we have to do is collect it and test it. We should not collect it downwind from factories, dusty cow pastures and such. We have a little time before the best rain collecting season begins, to find a food-safe plastic and 5 gallon Absopure bottles. In the mean time, collecting snow and melting it is fun, and good when it is fresh under open sky. We used to make snow ice cream when we were kids, and everyone used to know one couls eat snow and drink snow water. Our roofs could have rain barrels for bathwater, or we could roll up our food-safe plastic, go up and unveil it on a section of roof, staple it down, and get ready to catch it.

Turns out the filters are not much good over 150 ppm, and their highest reading was 4000. I am not even sure my stovetop distiller gets out all the parts per million, and we like stainless steel for all the parts because it seems most inert. If you trust me, you will not trust that phosphorus coat the pipes idea, either. We’ll lay new pipes, or evacuate Flint. The burbs might be able to handle the influx of refugees.

We want Garrison Keillor to advertise rainwater like he does Catsup and rhubarb pie and powdered milk. “If your seated next to a Child, be sure to drink your own whisky before drinkin the child’s whiskey.”

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