A Trip to a Gay Bar

In condolence to the LGBT (and what is that new Q ?) population, I will tell a story from my college days that always makes me chuckle. We are of course Christians, follow Hebrew law on these matters, and insist upon our right to teach the New Testament teaching, and the right of the Hebrews to follow Moses, who even forbids cross-dressing. But we do note that if, for example, lawn chemicals were imitating hormones and turning people gay, as these may be making puberty come earlier, it would indeed be a matter of how they find themselves, and not a matter of indiscriminate lust, like the citizens of Sodom in the scripture. It is also possible that this occurs in human populations when the population is sufficient, and civilization begins to decline. And of course some come with undistinguished gender, from the beginning. At any rate, here is the story:

When I was in college, one of my best friends was gay and I did not know it. His comedy was outrageous, and even funnier now in hindsight: He had a brushcut when everyone else had long hair, and was an ingenious “Avaunt Guard” abstract artist. He invented, “Lathos,” which were leather sunglasses sold only in Holland, Michigan, in a shop “right past the tulips.” His friend, a very nice girl I sort of liked, was also a bisexual. Once they took me to a gay bar to see what I would do. As we sat waiting for our drink, it slowly dawned on me that it was a gay bar, in downtown Grand Rapids. We knew a guy too, in a wheel chair, dressed straight by day, but then at night he would wheel down to the bar dressed for example in an evening gown. Gay guys started sending me drinks (I had long hair and looked a bit like Shawn Phillips or Greg Almond, with the scratchy Irish beard). So I tell the waiter, “I cannot accept these drinks, because I am not that way.” He did not know what to say, and we did not know what to do, so I asked him again. Finally, he said, “Thit, Thoak the thissies for Thum Boothz!”


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